NAMASTE (nä-mə-ˈstā) Religious and secular culture come together in the increasing use of namaste (pronounced \NAH-muh-stay\) in English: the term is associated with both Hinduism and yoga. The word comes from Sanskrit and literally means “bowing to you” or “I bow to you,” and is used as a greeting. -Merriam-Webster

OK, pop quiz! What does Namaste mean? Yup! It’s used as a greeting… And? That’s right… in Sanskrit, it means “I bow to you.” Well done! You learn quick! You deserve a gold star on that beautiful forehead of yours… and who says you don’t learn something every day? Speaking of beautiful foreheads and smart people, you can do yourself another favor today, and accelerate your stock value by adding these gorgeous peeper protectors to your shopping cart… Oh! You were just looking… were you? Christopher Columbus was looking for India when he found America… And, c’mon, is this not fate? You’re here… aren’t you? And I can see you scoping these thermonuclear ocular protectors to supplement your safety gear… ahem… I meant, provide refuge for those beautiful [INSERT EYE COLOR HERE] eyes of yours with some much needed UV-A and UV-B protection…

Pop Quiz time!!! w00t!!! We know you love them… pop quizzes… and ok, the goggles, too. Behold, you’ve got options here… which is a good thing, right? It’s nice to have options, isn’t it? I know… and since you love pop quizzes with multiple choice answers… That’s why we did this… It’s not about us, it’s about you… remember? “You’re the party, we’re just the guest list.”?

So, ladies and gentlemen… Do you:

[A] Buy the googles, up your stock price, augment your fashion sense, and send your safety rating through the roof?
[B] Ask yourself “who is this audacious flirt talking to?” and “why are they trying to send me off with these gorgeous googles?” and then move-on, wondering why you were absconded with not one but two pop quizzes today?
[C] Move along so quickly that you don’t even finish this sentence, thinking to yourself: “Oh my god, did I just totally waste several minutes of my life reading this nonsense? I can’t get those minutes back! But, I did learn what Merriam-Webster’s definition of Namaste is… but that only took 30 seconds…” [Things that make you go: Hmmm?]
[D] You start to leave, slightly annoyed with the length of this diatribe, and suddenly stop, realizing you did learn things today, and you nailed all of the pop quizzes… KNOCK KNOCK… Who is it? Opportunity… [and what do you do when opportunity comes knocking?] And because of your recently acquired brain gem, you answer that door! “Oh… hey! Opportunitay…NAMASTE!” Wow! I wasn’t expecting your little flavor crystal swagger there… Op-or-tun-i-tay… You know, you really are good… I mean, like, you are really, really good! That whole thing rhymed… And the delivery… Bravo! You seriously deserve these goggles, because of A and… eh, kinda sorta B and you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and people totally love you…. even moreso if you’re wearing these badboys! Right?!? #unicornStyledByMoxieAndMojo
[E] All of the above, and OK M&M! You’ve got yourself a deal!

Today… well, today is about you, remember? So think about the options, and choose, but choose wisely… and if you’re smiling, perhaps even chuckling, saying to yourself, “am I being hustled?” Because I feel like I’m being hustled… cuz the amount of compliments this guy is throwing out is incredible… I mean, where does he come up with this stuff?” It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, and you’re getting an abs workout in now, so, you’re welcome! OK Sparky, get out there into the world (after buying these goggles, of course), and pass off that smile to someone else… it’s the right thing to do… I called you Sparky, only because you’ll have a little sparkle in your eye knowing your goggles will be arriving shortly. ;-)

Much love! My work is done here…. [EXIT STAGE LEFT]